He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This is my gift to your gina
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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