whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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