Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
