sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
