Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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