i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
