i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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