There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
