those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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