SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am full of burrito and curiosity
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
