how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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