i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
