i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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