That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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