Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
