I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
