Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
