I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
