They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
