If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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