I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
