When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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