you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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