it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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