gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
