Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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