My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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