I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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