so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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