the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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