y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Why is your signature on my underwear?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
