A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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