Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
