Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
