Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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