May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
