This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
