Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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