Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize