I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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