She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
