Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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