He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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