I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
