Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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