i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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