Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
