I'm jealous of your bromance
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
