She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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