I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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