Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
