I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i out mim tonsoeep
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