I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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