Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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