Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
