I'm going to jail i love you
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
