i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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